Building a Better Mahou Shoujo!
by OverMaster
Summary: The REAL secret origin of the Sailor Senshi. With extra surprise cameos!


_Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon_ belongs to series creator Takeuchi Naoko and Kodansha.

The _X-Men_ and all related characters and elements belong to Marvel Comics Group and now The Walt Disney Company.

I make no money from this story.

* * *

**Building a Better Mahou Shoujo!**

* * *

"I don't know..." he said. "That stunt of yours with that Sailor V girl didn't go so well, and now you want to try again with her, but with a bigger budget to throw out MY window? **Is that what you're trying to say?!**" he suddenly exploded, as he was prone to do.

The red haired humanoid female in the very tight dark red dress was not fazed. Outwardly, at least. "Boss, really, I do think we have a big hit in our hands here, it's just our first approach fell short out of our expectations. Rest assured now we have canned Adonis and I'll personally take over the next phase, we **will** make this a runaway, bonafide hit for you."

"Oh, really. Tell me how, then," the massive, smelly mass moved quickly around the table, and thus around her and her four rigid with fear executives, at a surprisingly speedy pace, metal legs clanging across the cold floor of the meeting hall. Spiral, his loyal assistant and bodyguard, as usual, moved just as quickly right behind him. "Humor this poor old guy and share that secret of our incoming success."

Beryl rasped softly and moved slightly aside, showing him a three dimensional projection of several young women in skimpy, mostly white uniforms. "Our share studies have shown the Mahou Shoujo genre needs a shakeup. Now, you probably are thinking we could achieve that, and revitalize the segment, with better writers, more solid planning, and more inside consistence. But since those developments have a rather high cost scale and often translate into ratings poison for the culturally impaired public, we decided going for another new angle."

"To the point already, Beryl," Mojo growled, snapping his greasy fingers.

"My point is," the redhead said, "our public is tired of the old routine of the single Magical Girl searching for love. Looking at the figures Rita Repulsa is raking, we have reached the conclusion a team of Magical Girls is what our genre needs for a wake-up call. After all, teams are all the rage nowadays. They offer a much wider gamut of situations to intrigue the viewership, more characters to identify with, and hence more chances to sell merchandise."

"Yes, yes, super teams..." Mojo hummed, pacing across and stroking his round chin. "Heh, remember when we had the X-Men here? Got us our highest rankings in the last century, they did... A shame they escaped; the X-Babies do rake good numbers, but nothing like the originals." He stared at Beryl. "So, more girls in microskirts for some to lust after, and for some to identify with."

Beryl nodded.

"And that means more catty interaction between those girls..." the media mongul followed in, devilishly stroking his fingers together.

"With a good dose of occasional fanservice..." she added.

"And Les Yay...!" he chuckled.

"We're even thinking of including actual lesbians eventually!"

"Hoo-hoo-hooo! All the while featuring epic, yet cheap and easily choreographed battles between good and evil, with the 'fate' of that mudball in the balance!"

"Precisely!" the woman said. Then, far more warily, "I assume you like it?"

"Liking it? Liking it! Baby, I love it!" he laughed, tossing his arms up. "That might be the ratings A-Bomb we've been looking for! It's like a reality show, beauty pageant, adventure series and death match all in one!"

Beryl nodded. "If it succeeds as expected, we already have prepared a few spinoffs. We are thinking of a highly dramatic and tragic one reusing the old Entropy plot, and another one based around the idea of the girls competing and fighting each other, backstabbing themselves all the way..."

"Write what and who you know," Mojo nodded, looking over from Beryl to Kunzite, Jadeite, Zoicite and Nephrite, all of whom shuffled awkwardly on their seats. He just chuckled at them, then said, "If I may be as bold as to suggest, and believe me, I am, I think the one about the tragedy of Entropy should feature much younger looking girls. Lolis, even. The audiences react more strongly to pain and suffering the younger the victims are. Remember _Gunslinger Girl_, people!"

"Then, do we have an agreement?" asked Beryl.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Mojo waved a hand, with a magnanimous air to him. "Spiral will place the advancement deposit in your account tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, I don't know, pick a suitable sucker, drop another of your talking cats on her, do your thing, you know. I'm trusting ya, Beryl, my dear," he chuckled again, now grabbing Beryl's cheeks and pulling on them, painfully. "Just don't disappoint me again or you'll end up going the way of the Go-Bots, you hear me? Of course you do, you clever girl, you... Ooopsie, looks like I pulled a wee bit too hard! Me and my big strength, I keep forgetting its limits... Spiral, be a dearie and bring the lady a medic, will you? On the double!"

* * *

"And that did it!" Nyarko finished, with a huge wide grin. "Sailor Moon was a huge success and revived the agonizing, exhausted Mahou Shoujo genre, paving the way for more great titles like Mai HiME, Madoka Magica, Meruru, Lyrical Nanoha, Puni Puni Poemi, and Wedding Peach! Weeeeelllll... maybe not Wedding Peach!"

"... let me see if I understood you," Shiina Mahiro slowly said. "Are you saying every Magical Girl who protects Earth is actually just part of an intergalactic scam to produce TV shows, a job for which those girls are never paid, even when they die in the line of duty? And, the sole reason why you aliens don't bother openly contacting us and improving our puny lives with your massive technology is because you want to keep this planet backwater to provide an interesting, cheap back lot to record your fantasy shows?"

"Uuuummmmm... Pretty Sammy is a real deal, though!" Nyarko shrugged, then beamed another charming smile.

Mahiro sighed, absently playing with the fork in his hands. "Okay. So, what happened to that Beryl woman and her lackeys, after all of that? Did they name them Presidents of Programming or something?"

"Actually, while their performances as 'Boss Squad of Season One' were critically acclaimed and won them five Mojo Awards, they were killed off by management to make room for the Wise Man's team in Season Two, after a salary dispute," Nyarko said. "Then they killed Wise Man and his forces for Season Three, and then the same happened to the Death Busters for Season Four, and... What can I say? They say entertainment is a killer of a business!"

Mahiro stared flatly at her.

"Oh, like your networks are much better!" Nyarko huffed.

* * *

_Apokolips, fiery hellish pit of unending war, where the dogs of battle eternally growl and prowl around the mighty feet of the ultimate evil..._

"Sailor Moon will punish you in the name of the Moon!"

"Great Darkseid?" Desaad warily peeked in. "I thought I had heard someone of no doubt light and foolishly heroic disposition threatening y-"

Darkseid, God of Evil, callously blasted the unwelcomed interloper with his Omega Effect and kept on watching his favorite show...

* * *

**THE END!**


End file.
